Dharma Leaf 关于抑郁 by 朱倍贤|On depression by William Chu

截取自朱倍贤老师每周问答20210424,讯飞语音转录,有删改。
Excerpted from William Chu’s weekly Q&A 20210424, transcribed by Xunfei Voice, with omissions.


Q: ……心它自己运作,基本上想到的都是不好的心念,都是一些不喜欢不可意不悦乐的所缘。比如说我会沉迷于刷网上的视频,或者老是不起床,我都感觉在因为我要逃,我想逃避那些不可意的所缘……我用非我想去看它,就是说能够知道这不是我,这只是一个对象,就没有像以前那样完全陷进去,但是这种状态肯定会长期地不断地出现,就心还是比较困扰吧,想听听朱老师有没有什么好的建议。
Q: …The mind works on its own, and basically all that comes to mind is bad thoughts, things that I don’t like, things that are not pleasant. For example, I would be addicted to browsing online videos, or not getting up. I feel like I’m trying to escape. I want to escape from those undesirable mind objects… I use the “non-self cognition” to observe it, that is to say, I can understand that this is not me, this is just an object, so I’m not completely trapped as before, but this state will certainly continue to appear for a long time. My heart is still quite troubled. I would like to hear if Teacher Chu has any good advice.

A: 首先我们心态上面,像你刚刚所讲的,很多的人会指责你,而且很多的人他会因为point out the obvious,就会跟你讲一些,好像他们觉得再浅白不过、再明显不过的道理,你看干嘛那么想不开,干嘛那么的负面,他们会这样子讲。实际上抑郁症它是一个非常合理的一个反应,就是对人生是一个非常合理的反应。我说讲老实话。
A: First of all, in terms of our mindset. Like you just said, many people would blame you, and people would be like “point out the obvious”, telling you stuff, as if they think it is simple and obvious. They say look, why take things so hard? Why so negative? They will say this way. In fact, depression is a very reasonable reaction to life. Let me be honest.

什么叫对人生很合理的一个反应?随便就,不用讲很远,就是我们都会死,所以如果都会死的话,那么在一个程度上而言,我们所有的努力,我们所有的成就,我们所有的快乐,它都是很荒诞不经,然后它最终都是枉然的。然后而且呢,我们活在这个世界这个宇宙,它有千千万万种的方式可以摧毁你,千千万万种的方式可以危及你可以威胁你,而且这种方式它是无时不刻,它都在威胁着你。所以奇怪的不是你得抑郁症。奇怪的是,为什么其他的人不得抑郁症?
What does it mean by a very reasonable response to life? Without going very far, simply to say that we will all die, so if we all die, then to a certain extent, all our efforts, all our achievements, all our happiness, it is all very absurd, and then it is all in vain in the end. And then, we live in this world and this universe, it has millions of ways to destroy you, millions of ways to endanger you and threaten you, and it is threatening you this way all the time. So the strange thing is not that you get depression. The strange thing is that why other people don’t get depression.

正常人应该是,抑郁症应该是正常的,人能够对于他所处的这种状况好像……无动于衷,然后仍然能够醉生梦死地在那种很肤浅的、其实很没有滋味的那种欢乐当中,忘失掉自己的处境,那是很奇怪的一个事情。所以你不必要以一种好像说很特殊的眼光看待自己,而是讲说,我就是一个比起世间上很多的人更加合理地在对应这个世间。所以这个心态上你不要觉得说,这是一种问题,这是一种疾病,这个是一个好像说,让你变得比起其他的人更低一层的。不必要这样,完全不必要这样子想。
Normal people should be like, depression should be normal, and it is very strange that a person would seem to be indifferent to the situation he is in, and then still be able to get drunk and forget about his situation in that very superficial, in fact very tasteless kind of joy. So you don’t have to look at yourself in a special way, but rather say, I am a person who corresponds to this world in a more reasonable way than many people in this world. So you should not think that this is a problem, this is a disease, this is something that seems to make you inferior to other people. There is no need to think like that. No need to think like that at all.

可是呢在同时,我们的心并不是说它完全不受控制的。我们的心,它在很大程度上它真的是不受控制的,可是那个意识跟那个心啊,它那一种难以掌握的空间里面,它有一点点迂回的地方。我们的修行就是在这个一点点可以迂回的空间里面发生的。然后虽然它每一个刹那就是一点点而已,可是你如果你能够稳定住你的方向,然后坚持这个方向,它会改变掉一些习性。
But at the same time, our mind is not completely uncontrollable. Our mind, to a large extent, is really uncontrollable, but ah the consciousness and the mind, there is a little bit of detour in the space that is difficult to grasp. It is exactly within this little space of detour that our practice takes place. And although it is just a little bit per moment, if you can stabilize your direction and stick to that direction, it will change some habits.

我刚刚在讲说抑郁症它是一种对世间合理的反应,所以为什么要改变它呢?因为抑郁的时候难受,不舒服。纯粹就是为了这种务实的态度,并不是因为说,你是不正常的,所以你要改变它,你要变得像一般的人一样……你之所以要自我治疗,原因是因为抑郁是不舒服的,它是苦闷的。在这个程度上面要了解说,抑郁它是一种行为的回路。它是一个人的内心的一种惯性的回路。然后这种回路呢,你是可以又坚定、但又从容的状况之中慢慢地修改它。那么治疗抑郁症,或者是说你想要减缓抑郁症它所带来的苦患,这是一个很大的话题,就很多可以讨论的。
I was just talking about depression is a reasonable reaction to the world, so why change it? Because it’s difficult and uncomfortable when you’re depressed. It’s purely for this pragmatic attitude, not that you are abnormal, so you have to change it, you have to become like other people… The reason why you want to self-medicate is because depression is uncomfortable, it is distressing. To that extent it is necessary to understand that depression is a behavioral circuit. It is a circuit of inertia within the mind. And this circuit, you can slowly modify it with a firm, but calm attitude. So treating depression, or trying to alleviate the suffering caused by depression, is a big topic, and there is a lot to discuss.

……

其中的一个可以考虑的方向,也可以尝试可以去玩味的角度,一般的人他们在修学喜乐感,如果你想要把你抑郁的状态扭转成为喜乐的状态,那是强人所难的。可是呢,你可以在让自己在放松跟安静的状况当中,去体验淡泊中的滋味。这种淡泊,这种闲惬的滋味,它可能在你眼前的心情当中谈不上是喜乐。可是它里面有一种丰富,它里面有一种滋味。
One of the directions you can consider and try to ruminate is that, people in general are practicing experiencing joy, and if you want to turn your depressed state into a joyful state, it’s too much to ask. But you can experience the taste of equanimity in a relaxed and quiet state. This equanimity, this taste of idleness, it may not be joyful in your immediate mood. But there is a richness in it, there is a taste in it.

然后如果你的心不够安定的话,如果你不够安静的话,你会不容易去品味得到这个底下淡薄、但是丰富的滋味。你的心如果不够安定的话,你会不容易能够稳健地,长时间地,绵密地浸泡在这样的滋味当中。你会习惯性,因为你的天马行空,所以只是蜻蜓点水,接触到一点点,接触到一点点,然后马上你要再去寻觅其他滋味。你如果一直处在这种蜻蜓点水天马行空的状态,你会因为得不到稳健的不间断的滋补,你的抑郁症就会特别的严重。
And if your mind is not settled enough, if you are not quiet enough, you will not be able to easily savor this light, yet rich taste underneath. If your mind is not stable enough, it will not be easy for you to steadily, durably and densely immerse yourself in such a taste. You will habitually, because of your horse-rocketing-in-the-sky(天马行空), like a dragonfly skimming the surface of the water, just touching a little bit, touching a little bit, and then immediately you have to search for other tastes again. If you always stay in this slapdash horse-rocketing-in-the-sky state, your depression will be especially severe because you don’t get a steady and uninterrupted nourishment.

所以与其特别去强调开发喜乐,不如去强调开发平安,不如去强调在缓和下自己的动作的前提之下,去品味那个淡泊的、那个清淡如水的滋味。
So instead of emphasizing the development of joy, it would be better to emphasize the development of peace, to emphasize to savor that lightness, that clear water-like taste, under the premise of moderating one’s activities.

你可以考虑这一点,让自己缓和下来的方式不是要你压制,而是要你感觉到轻松,它是一个比较容易的状态。知足它是一个比较容易的状态。你那个天马行空,它实际上是一个很耗力气的,可是因为你根深蒂固的惯性,所以你会觉得说,那个才是对的,那个才是自然的。其实不是的。偶尔你甚至只是短暂时间,去看得到你在天马行空的时候它的用力,然后在片刻、片刻当中去体会到用力的缓解,来让自己沉淀下来。
You can consider this, the way to ease yourself down is not to suppress, but to feel relaxed. It is an easily accessible state. Contentment is an easily accessible state. That horse-rocketing-in-the-sky, it’s actually a very exhausting state, but because of your deep-rooted inertia, you feel as if that’s the right one, that’s the natural one. Actually it’s not. Even for a short period of time, you can see how exerting it is when you are horse-rocketing-in-the-sky, and you experience the alleviation of the exertion during little moments, to let yourself settle down.

Q: 老师您说的天马行空是指的是什么?
Q: What do you mean by horse-rocketing-in-the-sky, teacher?

A: 你看,你说划手机,也是为了要逃避,那个就是一种天马行空。就是说你划手机,你要逃避眼前这种抑郁的不舒服的感觉。可是呢,划手机你看到的画面、你得到的娱乐,它可能就是一下子,然后你很快会觉得说抑郁它又追上你来了,你必须要再划下一个银幕,你必须要再去找下一个节目,才勉强能够找得到逃离。然后这个逃离那就是短短的片刻,然后你必须要忙碌地一直寻觅着下一个动作,下一个动作,下一个动作……这是一种天马行空。这是一种很忙碌的,然后你在这种忙碌当中,你的抑郁不容易得到缓解,那种郁闷的感觉不容易得到缓解。它如果要缓解的话,你是必须要在相对少的动作当中,却能够得到隽永的滋味。你要往这个方向去发展。
A: You see, you say that your swiping the phone is to escape, that is a kind of horse-rocketing-in-the-sky. That is, your swiping the phone, is a way to escape the uncomfortable feeling of the depression in front of you. However, the images you see on the phone, the entertainment you get, it might be just a moment, and then you will soon feel that depression has caught up with you again, and you have to swipe the next screen, you have to search for the next program, just barely able to find an escape. And then this escape is only a short moment, and then you have to be busy looking for the next move, the next move, the next move… This is a kind of horse-rocketing-in-the-sky. It is a very busy state. When you are in that busy state, your depression is not easy to get relieved, that gloomy feeling is not easy to get relieved. If you want relief, you have to get a lasting taste in relatively few movements. You need to go in that direction.

……

检查一下欲界它有什么样的特质,然后欲界其中一个特质就是,你的动作要很复杂,你要很忙碌,要不然的话欲界提供给你的逃避的感觉一下就中断了,你马上会不舒服的。你必须要赶快再去找下一个活动,所以这是很忙碌。
Examine the qualities of Desire Realm, and one of the qualities of Desire Realm is that your movements have to be very complicated, you have to be very busy, otherwise the feeling of escape which Desire Realm offers you is interrupted at a stroke, and you will be immediately uncomfortable. You have to hurry to find the next activity, so it’s very busy.

你会人一直处在那种高度不休息的状态。然后欲界提供给你的养分,它就是一点点,一点点,它吊起你的胃口来。然后你会对那个一点点,一点点,感觉到很不满足,所以你有很多的得失心。你会感觉到你很忙,你会很多的害怕,因为你觉得世间我想要的东西,那么容易就会没有了。我需要很多,我需要囤积很多,我必须要透过很多的手段来让它能够稳稳地供应我要的。
You will be in that heightened state of restlessness all the time. And the sustenance provided by Desire Realm is just a little bit, a little bit. It whets your appetite. And you will feel very unsatisfied with that little bit, little bit, therefore you have a lot of gain-and-loss mind. You’ll feel like you’re busy and you’ll have a lot of fear because you feel like all the things I want in the world, so easily they will be gone. I need a lot, I need to accumulate a lot, and I have to go through a lot of means so that it can supply steadily what I want.

欲界的特质是这样,所以你的欲求会变得特别的强大,你的得失心会变得特别的强大。你人的欲求跟得失心强大,你就不会安静下来,你就不会省力。如果你不安静下来,不省力,你就没有办法得到那种隽永的高品质的休息,高品质的那种自我滋补的方法。
Such is the nature of Desire Realm. And your desire will become especially strong and your gain-and-loss mind will become especially strong. If your desire and your gain-and-loss mind is strong, you will not be able to quiet down, you will not be able to save your energy. If you don’t quiet down, if you don’t save your energy, you won’t be able to get that lasting, high-quality rest, that high-quality method of self-nourishment.

你只要能够得到高品质的、稳健的、自我滋补的方法,就算没有明显的喜乐,你也不会抑郁。你会发现到说,平安宁静当中它有非常丰富的滋味。丰富的滋味,你是很难讲出它的底在哪里,或者你很难讲出它的天花板在哪里的。
Even if there is no obvious joy, as long as you can get a high-quality, steady, self-nourishing method, you will not be depressed . You will find that there is a great richness in peace and tranquility. It is very difficult to tell where the bottom of that taste of richness is, or where the ceiling is.

Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator with amendments.

Dharma Leaf 探索更高明的寻乐方法 by 朱倍贤|Exploring a more sophisticated way to seek out fun by William Chu

截取自20210417开示
Excerpted from the 20210417 dharma talk.


你是以这样的心情在探索佛法的:什么样是更高明的寻乐方法?

……

受念住它的原理,它的内在的逻辑就是这样子,透过了解你怎么样在寻乐,透过去观察、去理解、去享受那种高的品质的乐,然后使得你能够用越来越有效率、越来越省力的方法,得到越来越大程度、越来越长久的满足感。

然后在这样的过程里面,你会慢慢地趋入、了解到,真正最大的快乐,它跟你复杂的计划是无关的,跟你用力的‘抓’是无关的。真正最高的快乐,它是跟放下,它是跟省力,它是跟遂顺真理,是跟遂顺你的心的本质有关的。

This is the attitude that you take when exploring the Dharma: what is the better way to find happiness?

This is the principle, the inner logic of Vedananupassana satipatthana (Mindfulness of feelings): by understanding how you are seeking happiness, by going through the process of observing, understanding, and enjoying that higher quality of happiness, then you will be able to gain a growing degree and more and more lasting satisfaction, in an increasingly efficient and effortless way.

And during this process, you will slowly come to understand that the greatest happiness has nothing to do with your complicated plannings, nor with your hard ‘grasping’. The highest happiness has to do with letting go, with effortlessness, with surrendering to the truth, to the nature of the heart.

Translated with http://www.DeepL.com/Translator with amendments.

乌青:《对白云的赞美》外八首|Wu Qing: Ode to White Clouds

Nine waste poems by my friend Wu Qing, translated by @江文宇 Wayne.

《对白云的赞美》
天上的白云真白啊
真的,很白很白
非常白
非常非常十分白
极其白
贼白
简直白死了
啊——

Ode to White Clouds
Up in the sky the clouds are white
Like, so so white
Very white
So very very white
Extremely white
Damn white
White as hell
O—

☁️

《有一天·85》
今天
什么也没发生
就算发生了
我也不知道
今天
我的头发
和胡子
乱糟糟

One Day (no. 85)
Today
Nothing happened
Even if anything
I wouldn't know
Today
My hair and
Beard are
confused

☁️

《是什么阻止了我》
我曾经买了一张机票
却没有去乘那趟飞机
那天下午
我坐在家里静静地等待着
飞机起飞的时间
想象那架飞机上的那个位子
它空着

What Was It that Stopped Me
Once I bought a plane ticket
But I didn't take that flight
That afternoon
When I sat at home waiting quietly
For the plane to take off
I was imagining the seat on that plane
It was empty

☁️

《他把一本口袋书塞进口袋》
他把一本书塞进口袋
然后出门
这是一本口袋书
而他的衣服有个口袋
这本书完全放进去了
他走在街上
没有人知道一本口袋书
装在他的口袋里

He Tucked a Pocket Book into His Pocket
He tucked a book into his pocket
And then left home
It was a pocket book
And he's got a pocket on his jacket
And the book totally fitted in
And when he walked the streets
No-one knew that there was a pocket book
Tucked away in his pocket

☁️

《大概死了》
又是一个秋天
你突然想起一个诗人
四处打听他的消息
有人说
他大概已经死了

Probabaly Dead
It's autumn again
You think of a poet out of nowhere
And ask about him everywhere
Some say
He's probably dead 

☁️

《小死的生活》
小死,22岁
住在我们不知道的深山里
白天出门打猎
晚上看《聊斋志异》
不说话
不写诗
现在,他那里
已经下雪了

The Life of Lil Death
Lil Death, age 22
Living in mountains we never knew
In the day he goes out hunting 
And at night he reads ghost stories
He doesn't speak a word
Nor does he write a poem
And now, where he lives
It's already snowing

☁️

《当我失去我的椅子》
我失去我的椅子就等于
我失去了我坐的地方
时光流逝啊朋友
你坐着
置身你的生活
而幽灵
是没有椅子的
在你坐着的时候
我不知道在哪里

When I Lost My Chair
I've lost my chair and that means
I've lost my place to sit
How time flies, o amigo
You are sitting there
And placing yourself in your life
But a ghost
Doesn't have a chair, so
When you are sitting there
Where I am I don't know 
 
☁️

《情诗》
如果上帝再给我一次机会
我不要
在失败的一生中
我最想抹去的
是你曾经为我流下的泪水
然后悄悄地
把你的青春还给你

A Love Poem
If God gave me another chance
I would not take it
In my life as a loser
What I want to erase the most
Are the tears that you shed for me
And then I would quietly
Give you back your youth 

☁️

《哭泣》
我想哭泣是没有用的
奶奶哭泣过
妈妈也哭泣过
甚至爷爷和爸爸的哭泣
都不能解决任何问题
但他们哭泣的时候
什么也不想
泪水挡住了整个世界
上帝也无法阻止我们哭泣

Weeping
I don't think weeping is helpful
Granny has wept
Mama has wept
And even Granpa's and Papa's weeping
Has never any problems solved
But when they weep
They stop to think
And their tears stop the world
And even God can't stop us from weeping

譬喻大师乔达摩|Gotama the Master of Similes (1)

读尼柯耶看到很多好玩的比喻……零散记录一些,可能(hopefully)会有后续。
Came across many interesting similes when reading the nikayas…jotted down some of them. Hopefully there will be follow-ups.

  • DhP.3.2(34):法句经·心品|Dhammapada·Mind
    心 – 鱼|mind – fish
    就象把鱼从水栖处取出,掷于干地上(会跳动)一般,此心会甚至这样颤抖不安。因此应该避免诸情欲的境界。(禅世界译)
    Like a fish thrown up on dry land, pulled out from its watery home, the mind is agitated, one ought to throw off the sway of Māra. (Bhikkhu Ānandajoti)
  • MN10:念处经|Satipatthana Sutta
    身体 – 谷袋|body – sack
    犹如两边有开口的袋子放置满满的种种谷物,即:山米、红米、绿豆,豌豆,胡麻,白米,有眼的男子倒出它后能观察:“这些是山米,这些是红米,这些是绿豆,这些是豌豆,这些是胡麻,这些是白米。”同样的,比丘们!比丘观察此身从脚掌底往上,发梢往下,皮肤所包覆充满种种不净的:“此身有头发、体毛、指甲、牙齿、皮肤、肌肉、筋腱、骨骼、骨髓、肾脏、心脏、肝脏、肋膜、脾脏、肺脏、肠子、肠间膜、胃、粪便、胆汁、痰、脓、血、汗、脂肪、眼泪、油脂、唾液、鼻涕、关节液、尿。”(庄春江译)
    “… just as if a sack with openings at both ends were full of various kinds of grain—wheat, rice, mung beans, kidney beans, sesame seeds, husked rice—and a man with good eyesight, pouring it out, were to reflect, ‘This is wheat. This is rice. These are mung beans. These are kidney beans. These are sesame seeds. This is husked rice,’ in the same way, the monk reflects on this very body from the soles of the feet on up, from the crown of the head on down, surrounded by skin and full of various kinds of unclean things: ‘In this body there are head hairs, body hairs, nails, teeth, skin, flesh, tendons, bones, bone marrow, kidneys, heart, liver, pleura, spleen, lungs, large intestines, small intestines, gorge, feces, bile, phlegm, pus, blood, sweat, fat, tears, skin-oil, saliva, mucus, fluid in the joints, urine.’” (Bhikkhu Thanissaro)
  • MN63:摩伦迦小经|Cula-Malunkyovada Sutta
    本体论纠结|ontological struggles
    “摩伦迦子,如果有人这样说: ‘如果世尊不为我解说 “世间是常” 、 “世间是断” 、 “世间有边” 、 “世间没有边” 、 “生命和身体是同一样东西” 、 “生命是一样东西,身体是另一样东西” 、 “如来死后还存在” 、 “如来死后不存在” 、 “如来死后既存在也不存在” 、 “如来死后既不存在也不是不存在” ,我便不会在世尊座下修习梵行。’ 摩伦迦子,这人将会直至命终,如来也不会为他解说这些问题。
    “Malunkyaputta, if anyone were to say, ‘I won’t live the holy life under the Blessed One as long as he does not declare to me that “The cosmos is eternal,” or “The cosmos is not eternal,” or “The cosmos is finite,” or “The cosmos is infinite,” or “The soul & the body are the same,” or “The soul is one thing and the body another,” or “After death a Tathagata exists,” or “After death a Tathagata does not exist,” or “After death a Tathagata both exists & does not exist,” or “After death a Tathagata neither exists nor does not exist,”’ the man would die and those things would still remain undeclared by the Tathagata.

    “摩伦迦子,就正如一个中了箭的人,那支箭涂上了剧毒,他的亲友找来一位医生为他治疗箭伤。但他这样说:‘如果我不知道射伤我的人是刹帝利、婆罗门、吠舍还是首陀罗……是什么姓名、什么种族……是高、是矮还是中等身材……是黑肤色、棕肤色还是黄肤色……住在哪个村落、哪个市镇、哪个都城,我便不会把箭拔出来。’‘如果我不知道用来射伤我的武器是弩还是弓……弓弦是植物所造还是筋腱所造……箭身是芦苇还是其他植物……箭尾是鹫、鹭、鹰、孔雀还是鹳的羽毛……箭身用母牛筋、水牛筋、鹿筋还是猴筋来缠绕……箭头是石、铁、木、兽角还是兽齿,我便不会把箭拔出来。‘摩伦迦子,这人将会直至命终,也不会知道这些答案。”(萧式球译)
    “It’s just as if a man were wounded with an arrow thickly smeared with poison. His friends & companions, kinsmen & relatives would provide him with a surgeon, and the man would say, ‘I won’t have this arrow removed until I know whether the man who wounded me was a noble warrior, a brahman, a merchant, or a worker…the given name & clan name of the man who wounded me…whether he was tall, medium, or short…whether he was dark, ruddy-brown, or golden-colored…his home village, town, or city…whether the bow with which I was wounded was a long bow or a crossbow…whether the bowstring was fiber, bamboo threads, sinew, hemp, or bark…whether the shaft was wild or cultivated… whether the feathers of the shaft were those of a vulture, a stork, a hawk, a peacock, or another bird…whether the shaft was bound with the sinew of an ox, a water buffalo, a langur, or a monkey…whether the shaft was that of a common arrow, a curved arrow, a barbed, a calf-toothed, or an oleander arrow.’ The man would die and those things would still remain unknown to him.” (Bhikkhu Thanissaro)

  • MN39:马城大经|Maha-Assapura Sutta
    五盖 – 债|five hindrances – debt, sickness, prison, slavery, road through desolate country
    他…内心清除了贪欲……瞋恚……昏睡……掉悔……对善法的疑惑。
    He cleanses his mind of covetousness…of ill will and anger…of sloth and drowsiness…of restlessness and anxiety…of uncertainty.

    比丘们,就正如一个贷款营商而得到成功的人,清还所有债款后还有余钱来养家。当他想起这件事情时,内心便会得到欢悦、得到快乐。
    “Suppose that a man, taking a loan, invests it in his business affairs. His business affairs succeed. He repays his old debts and has extra left over for maintaining his wife. The thought would occur to him, ‘Before, taking a loan, I invested it in my business affairs. Now my business affairs have succeeded. I have repaid my old debts and have extra left over for maintaining my wife.’ Because of that he would gain joy & experience happiness.

    比丘们,又正如一个有病的人,身体有病痛,没有胃口,没有体力,过了一些时候他康复了,有胃口,有体力。当他想起这件事情时,内心便会得到欢悦、得到快乐。
    “Now suppose that a man falls sick — in pain & seriously ill. He does not enjoy his meals and has no measure of strength in his body. At a later time he is released from that sickness. He enjoys his meals and has a measure of strength in his body. The thought would occur to him, ‘Before, I was sick… Now I am released from that sickness. I enjoy my meals and have a measure of strength in my body.’ Because of that he would gain joy & experience happiness.

    比丘们,又正如一个被囚禁在牢房的人,过了一些时候他获释了,得到安乐,没有困苦,财物没有损失。当他想起这件事情时,内心便会得到欢悦、得到快乐。
    “Now suppose that a man is bound in prison. At a later time he is released from that bondage, safe & sound, with no loss of property. The thought would occur to him, ‘Before, I was bound in prison. Now I am released from that bondage, safe & sound, with no loss of my property.’ Because of that he would gain joy & experience happiness.

    比丘们,又正如一个奴仆,没有自由,受人支配,不能随心所欲到处走,过了一些时候他恢复自由身,重获自由,不受人支配,可以随心所欲到处走。当他想起这件事情时,内心便会得到欢悦、得到快乐。
    “Now suppose that a man, subject to others, not subject to himself, unable to go where he likes. At a later time he is released from that slavery, subject to himself, not subject to others, freed, able to go where he likes. The thought would occur to him, ‘Before, I was a slave… Now I am released from that slavery, subject to myself, not subject to others, freed, able to go where I like.’ Because of that he would gain joy & experience happiness.

    比丘们,又正如一个带著财物的人,要穿过一个辽阔的荒野,过了一些时候他平安地穿过了那个荒野,没有任何财物损失。当他想起这件事情时,内心便会得到欢悦、得到快乐。
    “Now suppose that a man, carrying money & goods, is traveling by a road through desolate country. At a later time he emerges from that desolate country, safe & sound, with no loss of property. The thought would occur to him, ‘Before, carrying money & goods, I was traveling by a road through desolate country. Now I have emerged from that desolate country, safe & sound, with no loss of my property.’ Because of that he would gain joy & experience happiness.

    一位比丘如果不舍弃五盖的话,他就被视为欠债、患病、囚犯、奴仆、穿越荒野那样。一位比丘如果舍弃五盖的话,他就被视为没有债项、健康、出狱、得自由身、抵达安稳之地那样。(萧式球译)
    In the same way, when these five hindrances are not abandoned in himself, the monk regards it as a debt, a sickness, a prison, slavery, a road through desolate country. But when these five hindrances are abandoned in himself, he regards it as unindebtedness, good health, release from prison, freedom, a place of security. (Bhikkhu Thanissaro)
  • MN19:二种寻经| Dvedhavitakka Sutta
    牛 – 法|cow – mental qualities
    正如在雨季最后一个月,秋收的时候,牧牛人看守牛只时,要用棒杖不停来打牛,阻止、阻隔、阻截牛只闯进农田。这是什么原因呢?因为牧牛人知道,如果让牛只闯进农田破坏农作物的话,以此为因缘,自己会受到鞭打、收绑、赔钱、责骂等惩罚。比丘们,同样地,我知道不善法的过患、退堕、染污,知道善法的出离、利益、清净。(萧式球译)
    “Just as in the last month of the Rains, in the autumn season when the crops are ripening, a cowherd would look after his cows: He would tap & poke & check & curb them with a stick on this side & that. Why is that? Because he foresees flogging or imprisonment or a fine or public censure arising from that [if he let his cows wander into the crops]. In the same way I foresaw in unskillful qualities drawbacks, degradation, & defilement, and I foresaw in skillful qualities rewards related to renunciation & promoting cleansing. (Bhikkhu Thanissaro)

356. The beetle|甲虫

晚上
不知道从哪里进来一只婪步甲
飞到我桌上
在瓶瓶罐罐之间撞来撞去
弄出噼啪的声音
我用空的棉签罐头罩住它
甲虫在里面绕圈走
尝试攀爬边缘
时而仰天摔倒再费力翻过身
显得很仓皇
我去阳台剪了一小段枝叶
洒了点水
放进罐子里
甲虫摸索着爬到叶子上
立即不动了
直到第二天早上放飞前
都一直歇在那里

Last night,
a harpalus sinicus came out of nowhere,
and flied to my table,
bumping and sputtering between the bottles.
I cupped it with an empty cotton swap container.
The beetle circled around in there,
trying to climb the sides,
falling on its back from time to time and then turning over with great effort,
looking flustered.
I went to the balcony and cut down a small twig,
sprinkled it with water,
and put it into the container.
The beetle groped its way onto the leaf,
and stilled at once.
It rested there all night long,
until being set free this morning.

  (2020)

355. The morning |早晨

坐在椅子上
身体舒适
呼吸平稳
客厅的另一端
窗帘半拉着
沙发上散落着杂物
阳台上的盆栽等待浇水
一些词句隐约在空间中浮动
并不成形
让它们留在那里
这样就可以了
也是一首诗

Sitting on the chair beside the table,
my body at ease,
my breath steady.
On the other side of the living room,
the curtain is half open,
sundries scattering on the sofa,
plants in the balcony waiting to be watered.
Some vague verses are floating in the space,
not quite taking shape.
Let them stay there.
This is already fulfilling,
and makes a poem.

  (2020)

354. Moon bathing|晒月亮

晒太阳的时候
可以明显感觉到
日光的温度
暖暖的
月光呢
也有一种温度
晚上走在小区里
月光晒下来
凉凉的
像夜风
像稀疏的虫鸣
像丝质长裤轻轻碰到小腿

Bathing under the sun
The temperature of the sunlight can be felt clearly
Quite warm
Well the moonlight 
also has a temperature
When I take a walk in the neighborhood at night
The moonlight shines down
Silent and cooling
Feels like the night wind
Or the thin voices of insects in the grass
Or the silky trousers gently touching my calf

  (2020)

353. The soy milk machine|豆浆机

加黄豆
加水
插电
等一刻钟
豆浆就做好了
倒出来热气腾腾
香喷喷
美滋滋
不由在想
我何德何能
可以这么方便地
每天喝到好喝的豆浆
当然买这台机器
我是付了钱的
但我说的不是这个
换一种说法
所有人都值得一杯这样的豆浆
或是任何像被我喜欢的豆浆一样
被他们喜欢的其他饮料
但愿所有人都能喝上一杯这样的豆浆
或是任何像被我喜欢的豆浆一样
被他们喜欢的其他饮料

Add soybeans
Add water
Plug it in
Wait for 15 minutes
Then the soy milk is done
Steaming
sweet-smelling
when poured out
I can’t help but think
what have I done to deserve this
Well I did pay for this machine
but that’s not what I am talking about
In other words
I guess everyone deserves a cup of soy milk like this
Or any drink they like the same way as I like the soy milk
I hope everyone can have a cup of soy milk like this
Or any drink they like the same way as I like the soy milk

  (2020)

335. On the brink of emergence|涌现之前

接下来出现的
可能会是一句话
一个念头
或者是一架
从天而降的失事飞机
这样的时刻不是寂静或空白
而是某种……真空妙有
就像整面墙都码满书本的
高耸阁楼空间
或是镶嵌在斜顶之中
风雨敲打下的
明亮窗户

2019.05.26
记一次面基


What comes next
might be a word,
a thought,
or a plane 
crashing through the roof.
Moments like this
are not silence or void,
but some sort of…Wondrous Existence,
like the lofty space in the attic
with a whole wall full of books,
or the bright window inlayed in the sloped ceiling
pattering under the wind and rain.

2019.05.26 a gathering with friends